“The many facets of me surprise me. One shade this moment, a different one the next, a brighter hue in between, just before the darkest stroke.
In this blur of shades, hues and strokes lost somewhere deep within is little me. Scared, in awe, wanting to soar but not taking off, holding on tighter while trying to let go” said a little girl to me, not long ago.
How many of us go through life like that? Dreams, goals, ambitions starry eyed we start, a few wrong moves and then get stuck?
Some dare to pick up the lose ends and attempt getting back on track. Most just linger on the floor, gathering dust, full of remorse.
Do you have what it takes to soar high in the sky, in gay abandon and live a carefree life?
Nothing in life comes without a price. Give up your security, that’s such a heavy price.
The returns may come, or it could be otherwise, it’s a risk you take with your eyes open wide.
The vast open sky lures you on, “come embrace me” she calls out.
The temptation is strong, the attraction from within, to spread your wings and feel in your face the cool wind.
But fear weighs you down, not yet ready to fly, the intricacies of life still anonymous.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Destiny
In life there are no punishments and rewards – there are only consequences. Our scriptures have always said what Science finally discovered: that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
As you sow, shall you reap. What goes round comes around. Say it any way you like it, the fact is all that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own. And that is what brings us to destiny. Often destiny is misunderstood to be a fatalistic theory where we have no control over what’s happening in our life and have to silently bear what life doles out to us. This is a very limited take on destiny. Destiny is only a part of the Doctrine of Karma.
We write our own destiny. Probably many will not agree with this statement with arguments such as ‘Why would anyone chose poverty/sickness/handicap?’ Many would say it is God who has decided for us. But I cannot accept this. It goes against all reasoning because if God has decided what kind of life I have, then it makes Him a sadistic and partial God who chooses joy for some and pain for others. I deny such a God.
The only thing which has given me acceptable answers is the Doctrine of Karma. And that brings me back to destiny.
Destiny is nothing but the consequences of our actions in the past. What I do today will decide what I face tomorrow, and tomorrow I will call it destiny. So the destiny that I face today is nothing but the consequences of my actions and choices I have made in the past. I cannot change the circumstances that have arisen as a result of my past actions but I can surely alter my tomorrow by making the right choices today. This is called ‘self effort’. Thus, the circumstances that we are in is our destiny (result of our past actions), what we do and how we act, in those circumstances, is entirely in our hands.
We cannot plant cacti and expect roses and mangoes. If it’s roses and mangoes that you want, plant those! The Doctrine of Karma puts the responsibility of our life in our own hands. Thus, our destiny lies not in the lines of our palms but in the grasp of our hands. Let us think and act, for with every choice we make today we are writing our tomorrow.
As you sow, shall you reap. What goes round comes around. Say it any way you like it, the fact is all that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own. And that is what brings us to destiny. Often destiny is misunderstood to be a fatalistic theory where we have no control over what’s happening in our life and have to silently bear what life doles out to us. This is a very limited take on destiny. Destiny is only a part of the Doctrine of Karma.
We write our own destiny. Probably many will not agree with this statement with arguments such as ‘Why would anyone chose poverty/sickness/handicap?’ Many would say it is God who has decided for us. But I cannot accept this. It goes against all reasoning because if God has decided what kind of life I have, then it makes Him a sadistic and partial God who chooses joy for some and pain for others. I deny such a God.
The only thing which has given me acceptable answers is the Doctrine of Karma. And that brings me back to destiny.
Destiny is nothing but the consequences of our actions in the past. What I do today will decide what I face tomorrow, and tomorrow I will call it destiny. So the destiny that I face today is nothing but the consequences of my actions and choices I have made in the past. I cannot change the circumstances that have arisen as a result of my past actions but I can surely alter my tomorrow by making the right choices today. This is called ‘self effort’. Thus, the circumstances that we are in is our destiny (result of our past actions), what we do and how we act, in those circumstances, is entirely in our hands.
We cannot plant cacti and expect roses and mangoes. If it’s roses and mangoes that you want, plant those! The Doctrine of Karma puts the responsibility of our life in our own hands. Thus, our destiny lies not in the lines of our palms but in the grasp of our hands. Let us think and act, for with every choice we make today we are writing our tomorrow.
Avdhut Kaka
"Avdhut kaka"... It feels extremely odd saying those words in my mind as I type them. It seems like ages since I last used them and it hurts to accept that they will never be of use again except in the recollection of memories.
I never realised how much he meant to me till he was no more. Even as I write this, there is an ache in my heart, a catch in my throat and tears are welling up in my eyes threatening to pour out. I wonder when he began to mean so much.
I guess some people are special. They make a place in your heart. They touch you somewhere deep. Such was this man, my Dad’s friend who we called Avdhoot kaka (Is it mandatory to use the past tense?? Every time I do it hurts. Now on, now that you’ve got the point, I’ll stick to the present tense; because a person of that kind lives forever, in the hearts and minds of people.)
He is gaiety personified. In all my 30+ years I don’t remember ever seeing him thoughtful, even for a fraction of a second, leave alone grumpy, sad, morose, worried or scared. The big smile, the throaty laughter, the repartee is constant.
To him life is one big party, to be enjoyed and lived to the full, come hail or snow, or rather by Goan conditions, come rain or shine. He lives life King size! And how!!
Quite a few birthdays were made extra special by him: a treat by the poolside for all my friends and family. Dining with him is never ordinary. The Chef is summoned with his magic wand. We always have what we want much to the embarrassment of and reprimanding by Daddy. He is the only one who can brush off my Dad’s stern objections. It is always, ‘Leave it, they’re kids’. (Even after I crossed 20 and 30!!)
I have only one complaint against him: he didn’t say bye before going. And that is the only thing that’s still hurting. More than a complaint against him, I guess it’s a complaint against myself… for never taking that little effort to go and see him. It’s only when he was gone that I realised I’d last met him six whole months earlier.
An important but painful lesson to learn…make time for people, for all your near and dear ones. Work goes on, if not through you some other. Tomorrow never comes, meet them now. The frustration one feels at the inability to turn the clock back and snatch just a few moments with the person gone is excruciatingly painful.
I remember that last evening vividly. He joined us for dinner after we had all eaten! (Sigh... what do we do with this man, late as usual.) As always, he came in like a breath of fresh air. His freshness and spirit was always contagious. Ever cheerful, he spread cheer around him like butter on a hot toast. And that’s how I think I should be in remembering him, if I truly love him...
(He’d be mighty amused reading this blog! Well, I simply chose to assume he is reading it!)
I never realised how much he meant to me till he was no more. Even as I write this, there is an ache in my heart, a catch in my throat and tears are welling up in my eyes threatening to pour out. I wonder when he began to mean so much.
I guess some people are special. They make a place in your heart. They touch you somewhere deep. Such was this man, my Dad’s friend who we called Avdhoot kaka (Is it mandatory to use the past tense?? Every time I do it hurts. Now on, now that you’ve got the point, I’ll stick to the present tense; because a person of that kind lives forever, in the hearts and minds of people.)
He is gaiety personified. In all my 30+ years I don’t remember ever seeing him thoughtful, even for a fraction of a second, leave alone grumpy, sad, morose, worried or scared. The big smile, the throaty laughter, the repartee is constant.
To him life is one big party, to be enjoyed and lived to the full, come hail or snow, or rather by Goan conditions, come rain or shine. He lives life King size! And how!!
Quite a few birthdays were made extra special by him: a treat by the poolside for all my friends and family. Dining with him is never ordinary. The Chef is summoned with his magic wand. We always have what we want much to the embarrassment of and reprimanding by Daddy. He is the only one who can brush off my Dad’s stern objections. It is always, ‘Leave it, they’re kids’. (Even after I crossed 20 and 30!!)
I have only one complaint against him: he didn’t say bye before going. And that is the only thing that’s still hurting. More than a complaint against him, I guess it’s a complaint against myself… for never taking that little effort to go and see him. It’s only when he was gone that I realised I’d last met him six whole months earlier.
An important but painful lesson to learn…make time for people, for all your near and dear ones. Work goes on, if not through you some other. Tomorrow never comes, meet them now. The frustration one feels at the inability to turn the clock back and snatch just a few moments with the person gone is excruciatingly painful.
I remember that last evening vividly. He joined us for dinner after we had all eaten! (Sigh... what do we do with this man, late as usual.) As always, he came in like a breath of fresh air. His freshness and spirit was always contagious. Ever cheerful, he spread cheer around him like butter on a hot toast. And that’s how I think I should be in remembering him, if I truly love him...
(He’d be mighty amused reading this blog! Well, I simply chose to assume he is reading it!)
Two Roads Diverged in a Wood
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I, I took the one less travelled by
And that had made all the difference.
But when, oh when did I get back
On the road much travelled by
Sad, morose, lost, a total wreck.
Is there no turning back?
No fork in the road to choose afresh?
Or maybe just a helping hand?
I look around, friends I see
My family, my colleagues
But the one my eyes scout for…
None will help, no one to lean on
Look within, find the strength
And move on.
Walk alone amidst the crowd
They’re all an apparition
The only real friend is Him alone.
With faith in Him, eyes on the goal
Keep walking alone, all alone
This journey you’ve started is worth it all.
On this path there is no fall
“Bounce back!” He screams,
But there’s no air in the ball…
And I, I took the one less travelled by
And that had made all the difference.
But when, oh when did I get back
On the road much travelled by
Sad, morose, lost, a total wreck.
Is there no turning back?
No fork in the road to choose afresh?
Or maybe just a helping hand?
I look around, friends I see
My family, my colleagues
But the one my eyes scout for…
None will help, no one to lean on
Look within, find the strength
And move on.
Walk alone amidst the crowd
They’re all an apparition
The only real friend is Him alone.
With faith in Him, eyes on the goal
Keep walking alone, all alone
This journey you’ve started is worth it all.
On this path there is no fall
“Bounce back!” He screams,
But there’s no air in the ball…
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Mind in pieces or at peace
It is only when our actions are aligned with our values, beliefs and philosophy of life that our mind is at rest. When our actions are not aligned with our values and beliefs the result is an agitated mind. An agitated mind can neither think straight nor take correct decisions. An agitated mind also results in us being emotionally high strung, such that the slightest change or obstacle or failure takes us right to the bottom of the pit.
When emotionally high strung we tend to swing from high to low at the drop of a hat. Does that mean emotions are bad? Not at all. Emotions are fine, emotionalism is not. Learn to handle your emotions and not let emotions handle you is what the Wise one says. Stand back, observe the storm of emotions as it rises and settles, periodically.
Be a ‘sakshi’, a silent observer. Watch as the emotions rise in your bosom, reach a pinnacle and then settle down. Don’t identify with the emotions. You are apart from them. You are not them.
If we don’t stand back as an observer the storm of emotions will rage havoc, leaving us behind as a heap of nerves, shattered, lonely, broken. And who wants to be with a nervous wreck? Nobody.
When emotionally high strung we tend to swing from high to low at the drop of a hat. Does that mean emotions are bad? Not at all. Emotions are fine, emotionalism is not. Learn to handle your emotions and not let emotions handle you is what the Wise one says. Stand back, observe the storm of emotions as it rises and settles, periodically.
Be a ‘sakshi’, a silent observer. Watch as the emotions rise in your bosom, reach a pinnacle and then settle down. Don’t identify with the emotions. You are apart from them. You are not them.
If we don’t stand back as an observer the storm of emotions will rage havoc, leaving us behind as a heap of nerves, shattered, lonely, broken. And who wants to be with a nervous wreck? Nobody.
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