If you do what you love, and love what you do, you do not have to work for a single day of your life. This is what I truly believe. And trust me, I have experienced this first hand. There are times when I have worked but most of the time I have not. Not because I was idling my time but because I was thoroughly enjoying what I was doing and hence to me it wasn’t work.
Modern science refers to this as one’s aptitude. Our ancient scriptures call it ‘swadharma’. It is only when we work in line with our swadharma that not only is our efficiency is at its peak but also our satisfaction. That is, what in modern times we refer to as work satisfaction. So often we here of people changing their jobs for lack of satisfaction. And so often we come across people who are lacklustre about their work. Every morning is another dreary start to the workplace and every evening a relief to get out of the workplace. Weekends are looked forward to right from Monday morning, while Mondays are lamented about right from Friday evening. And then there are the rare, fortunate ones who have zeroed in on their aptitude/swadharma and work in line with it. They are the ones whose face lights up at the thought of a Monday and who frown at the mention of a holiday.
That in some ways is my biography. It is a common joke among my colleagues that they should not inform me about upcoming holidays as it will upset me and my strong thoughts might somehow revoke the holidays! Not that I don’t enjoy or look forward to holidays. Everyone needs a break to do nothing. But I always look forward to getting back after the break. Come to think of it, I landed in my profession quite by chance. And thank God for that!
In the beginning I was naïve enough to think that like me everyone enjoyed working. Slowly, but surely, it dawned on me that it is not so. Most don’t enjoy what they’re doing. This is not for the fault of the job but for the fact that they’re in the wrong place. It’s something like the monster.com ad that flashes ever so often on TV. The classical dancer working at the airport directing the airplane is a classic case. They couldn’t have pictured it better.
So what is it that lands a person in the wrong job?? In some cases the person is not at all aware of what their swadharma is. Worse still, they are not even aware that there is something called ‘aptitude’. In other cases, although they know what they love doing, they still opt for other jobs for want of economic security. They compromise. How right or wrong they are, is for them to decide.
What I do know is, I have hardly worked a single day of my life, and I hope I continue to do so.
Can’t wait for Monday!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Are you indispensable?
I once read somewhere, “if you want to know how indispensable you are, do the following: -
1. Take a bucket filled to the brim with water
2. Put your hand in it and swish it around.
3. Take out your hand.
The hole that is left behind in the water after you take your hand out is how indispensable you are.”
Truly hard hitting isn’t it?
On a similar theme Charles de Gaulle said, “The cemeteries of the world are full of indispensable men”.
What a powerful statement! I was completely zapped on reading it. Most of us tend to live through life as though the world wouldn’t go around if not for us. Well, maybe not the whole world, but at least someone whose world we ‘think’ we are. But it is not so. The world goes on. Life goes on. You’re around, that’s great. You walk out, fine. Life goes on.
One should be wary of committing the folly of thinking one is indispensable. If ever that thought even crosses your mind remember, the cemetery is full of indispensable people.
Monday, October 27, 2008
The Light Within
Come October and everyone gears up for the festival of lights. Houses are lit up, the ‘akash diyas’ are put up…homes get a thorough cleaning and of course loads of shopping. After all it marks a new beginning...so new clothes, new jewellery, new vehicle, new everything.
Expect...a new me.
We change our clothes, change the house paint, change the look of the house, change our jewellery, change our linen…but how many of us actually pause to look within and change what is of utmost importance? Do we even consider changing our thoughts, our outlook, our attitude, our perspective? Do we think of changing for the better? That after all is what matters. And unfortunately that is what is most difficult of all. How lovely it would be if we could enter a shop and buy loads of positive attitude, oodles of love, kilometres of wider vision and heaps of good thoughts. But alas! It isn’t so.
We kill the Narkasur outside but clean forget about the Narkasur within. Diwali is meant for searching deeper, for identifying our very own Narkasur and getting rid of him. It is only when the Narkasur is removed that Krishna shines forth. It is only when the lamp of knowledge is lit that the darkness of ignorance is dispelled.
With this Diwali let’s light lamps of love and cheer wherever we go. But most importantly let’s not forget to go where the light is always aglow, where every day is Diwali.
Happy journey!
Expect...a new me.
We change our clothes, change the house paint, change the look of the house, change our jewellery, change our linen…but how many of us actually pause to look within and change what is of utmost importance? Do we even consider changing our thoughts, our outlook, our attitude, our perspective? Do we think of changing for the better? That after all is what matters. And unfortunately that is what is most difficult of all. How lovely it would be if we could enter a shop and buy loads of positive attitude, oodles of love, kilometres of wider vision and heaps of good thoughts. But alas! It isn’t so.
We kill the Narkasur outside but clean forget about the Narkasur within. Diwali is meant for searching deeper, for identifying our very own Narkasur and getting rid of him. It is only when the Narkasur is removed that Krishna shines forth. It is only when the lamp of knowledge is lit that the darkness of ignorance is dispelled.
With this Diwali let’s light lamps of love and cheer wherever we go. But most importantly let’s not forget to go where the light is always aglow, where every day is Diwali.
Happy journey!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
What More Can I Ask For
A lot of people come into our lives but there are those few who touch deep within. They come and leave an indelible mark on our life. They are the ones who touch deep within, one way or the other. They are the ones we call friends.
Here's a poem I wrote years ago for my friend Sonali, but the same stands true for all my other friends. Today I re-dedicate the poem to all my dearest friends, the stars in the night sky that is my life.
What More Can I Ask For...
Someone…
To lean on
To listen to your woes
To comfort you, to hold you close
What more can one ask for?
Someone…
To count on when times are tough
To share dreams, hopes, aspirations
Even the wildest ones
What more can one ask for?
Someone…
To correct, to reprimand you
To teach, to guide you
To heal, to nurture you
What more can one ask for?
Someone…
Who loves you the way you are
Despite your follies, your faults, your idiosyncrasies
Accepts you unconditionally
What more can one ask for?
Ti’s but a miracle…
To get without asking
To find without looking
That ‘someone’ we call a friend
So true, so fine, so dear
I don’t remember asking
But God gave you to me
What I did to deserve you,
Well, don’t ask me!
What more can I ask for?
-Rukma
Here's a poem I wrote years ago for my friend Sonali, but the same stands true for all my other friends. Today I re-dedicate the poem to all my dearest friends, the stars in the night sky that is my life.
What More Can I Ask For...
Someone…
To lean on
To listen to your woes
To comfort you, to hold you close
What more can one ask for?
Someone…
To count on when times are tough
To share dreams, hopes, aspirations
Even the wildest ones
What more can one ask for?
Someone…
To correct, to reprimand you
To teach, to guide you
To heal, to nurture you
What more can one ask for?
Someone…
Who loves you the way you are
Despite your follies, your faults, your idiosyncrasies
Accepts you unconditionally
What more can one ask for?
Ti’s but a miracle…
To get without asking
To find without looking
That ‘someone’ we call a friend
So true, so fine, so dear
I don’t remember asking
But God gave you to me
What I did to deserve you,
Well, don’t ask me!
What more can I ask for?
-Rukma
'He'
There are teachers, and there Teachers. Some teach, some help us learn. Some teach, some touch our lives to change them forever. Here's a poem I wrote some years back, a humble tribute to my (spiritual) Teacher.
He
He is love,
He is peace,
He is the ocean, so vast, so deep.
He is a smile,
He is laughter,
He is tears of joy and surrender.
He is a friend,
He is a neighbour,
He is a parent, nourishing forever.
He praises,
He admonishes,
He pampers and spoils.
H lifts and soars our spirits high,
He instills faith and boosts our pride.
He is a whip which keeps us in check,
He is a magic wand that casts on us a spell.
He is a teacher, who loves and reprimands,
He is a harness that keeps our feet on the ground.
He is the light,
He is the pointer,
He is the way too.
He points out the road less travelled by
Urging us to go on, walk in your own light.
- Rukma
He
He is love,
He is peace,
He is the ocean, so vast, so deep.
He is a smile,
He is laughter,
He is tears of joy and surrender.
He is a friend,
He is a neighbour,
He is a parent, nourishing forever.
He praises,
He admonishes,
He pampers and spoils.
H lifts and soars our spirits high,
He instills faith and boosts our pride.
He is a whip which keeps us in check,
He is a magic wand that casts on us a spell.
He is a teacher, who loves and reprimands,
He is a harness that keeps our feet on the ground.
He is the light,
He is the pointer,
He is the way too.
He points out the road less travelled by
Urging us to go on, walk in your own light.
- Rukma
Single & Unavailable
Single & Unavailable is my newest tag line. I am most tempted to print it on the front of a t-shirt and flaunt it everywhere I go but better sense prevails (read ‘family hitting the roof’).
We singles are never left alone. Somehow people think singles need to be sympathised with, encouraged to ‘keep trying’ and definitely never ever to be left single! They need to be hooked. They need to meet more people (read ‘singles of the opposite sex’). They need to have an open mind. They need to be less choosy and more practical. They need to think about their future and old age. They need to think of companionship. They need to think of having kids. They need to think of their parents (the pain they go through by your staying single). They need to think of society. They need to think of the whole world. But never do they have to think of themselves!
But then whose needs are these? Does the single feel these needs? Or are they imagined by the non-singles? If so, then I see no reason why the single should consider them. Do we singles ever go telling the married ones to get back to being single? To think about how wonderful it is to be single? About what a big help we’re rendering the earth by not adding to the world population?
According to most to stay single is blasphemy! It is unacceptable. It is selfish. I secretly believe the reason for this outrage is plain jealousy. Mind you, a few of my married friends, young & old alike, have actually admitted this. So, I’m not far from the truth.
Everyone has a right to live their life in the way they deem fit and in a way they want to, irrespective of whether that chosen path is approved by others or not. But society (read ‘nosy people’) have a tendency to poke their nose into others’ lives but finally it’s in your hands as to how much leeway you give them to question & probe & (ill) advise. As for me, I give a damn! I say it out loud…I’m single & unavailable.
We singles are never left alone. Somehow people think singles need to be sympathised with, encouraged to ‘keep trying’ and definitely never ever to be left single! They need to be hooked. They need to meet more people (read ‘singles of the opposite sex’). They need to have an open mind. They need to be less choosy and more practical. They need to think about their future and old age. They need to think of companionship. They need to think of having kids. They need to think of their parents (the pain they go through by your staying single). They need to think of society. They need to think of the whole world. But never do they have to think of themselves!
But then whose needs are these? Does the single feel these needs? Or are they imagined by the non-singles? If so, then I see no reason why the single should consider them. Do we singles ever go telling the married ones to get back to being single? To think about how wonderful it is to be single? About what a big help we’re rendering the earth by not adding to the world population?
According to most to stay single is blasphemy! It is unacceptable. It is selfish. I secretly believe the reason for this outrage is plain jealousy. Mind you, a few of my married friends, young & old alike, have actually admitted this. So, I’m not far from the truth.
Everyone has a right to live their life in the way they deem fit and in a way they want to, irrespective of whether that chosen path is approved by others or not. But society (read ‘nosy people’) have a tendency to poke their nose into others’ lives but finally it’s in your hands as to how much leeway you give them to question & probe & (ill) advise. As for me, I give a damn! I say it out loud…I’m single & unavailable.
When Hunger Strikes
Some people eat to live and there are others who live to eat. My friends H & G are some of those who make up the latter. Think food Think H/G or rather Think H/G, Think food. Yeah, yeah ok, I am exaggerating a bit. They do other things too! They play, they drive, they sing, they write….etc etc. No, they don’t cook!!
Recently I read somewhere, ‘A cardiac doctor’s diet: Avoid any food that tastes good’.
And that’s exactly where we falter. It is only in case of extreme sickness that we avoid food. In fact it’s the body that rejects it in a bid to give the system a rest. We just don’t feel like eating, though at times we might even be hungry.
Arguing against healthy but no so tasty food are the connoisseurs of food like H & G who believe in enjoying life to the hilt and taking each day as it comes. Eat, drink and be merry, who knows about tomorrow. And then there are others who are so cautious that they can’t go beyond salads and soups and boiled stuff. Tasty? What’s that?!
I guess the idea is, like in all good things in life, moderation. Not too loose, not too tight, just right. Strike a balance & you’ll get more years of going against the cardiac’s diet.
What about me you ask? Well, I am perennially on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
Bon appetite!!
Recently I read somewhere, ‘A cardiac doctor’s diet: Avoid any food that tastes good’.
And that’s exactly where we falter. It is only in case of extreme sickness that we avoid food. In fact it’s the body that rejects it in a bid to give the system a rest. We just don’t feel like eating, though at times we might even be hungry.
Arguing against healthy but no so tasty food are the connoisseurs of food like H & G who believe in enjoying life to the hilt and taking each day as it comes. Eat, drink and be merry, who knows about tomorrow. And then there are others who are so cautious that they can’t go beyond salads and soups and boiled stuff. Tasty? What’s that?!
I guess the idea is, like in all good things in life, moderation. Not too loose, not too tight, just right. Strike a balance & you’ll get more years of going against the cardiac’s diet.
What about me you ask? Well, I am perennially on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
Bon appetite!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Act, don’t react!
There’s a striking quote of Voltaire’s which goes something like this, “I may often regret that I have spoken but never that I have remained silent”.
We may not realise the profundity of these messages until we experience it in person.
So often we shoot our mouth off only to repent later; a knee jerk reaction to be repented at leisure. Often these hasty reactions leave behind a gamut of hurt, pain, animosity, bitterness, broken relationships and more importantly broken hearts. Rarely these results are reversible. Like it’s said, ‘Words & hearts should be handled with care; for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair; for even when mended the crack is still there.’
We end up with all this when all that was required is a pause. A pause to think and then act, according to the best of our discrimination, unbiased by emotions. As my Teacher puts it in simple words, ‘Act, don’t react’.
I’m sure you’d agree with me wholeheartedly that that moment’s pause in the heat of the moment is far better than all the regret and guilt that we go through later. So the next time you are ready to explode, whether in speech or the written word, stop! Think! Then Act! True, it’s not easy, especially when provoked knowingly. But then, I think that’s what differentiates a boy from a man, and a girl from a woman.
We may not realise the profundity of these messages until we experience it in person.
So often we shoot our mouth off only to repent later; a knee jerk reaction to be repented at leisure. Often these hasty reactions leave behind a gamut of hurt, pain, animosity, bitterness, broken relationships and more importantly broken hearts. Rarely these results are reversible. Like it’s said, ‘Words & hearts should be handled with care; for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair; for even when mended the crack is still there.’
We end up with all this when all that was required is a pause. A pause to think and then act, according to the best of our discrimination, unbiased by emotions. As my Teacher puts it in simple words, ‘Act, don’t react’.
I’m sure you’d agree with me wholeheartedly that that moment’s pause in the heat of the moment is far better than all the regret and guilt that we go through later. So the next time you are ready to explode, whether in speech or the written word, stop! Think! Then Act! True, it’s not easy, especially when provoked knowingly. But then, I think that’s what differentiates a boy from a man, and a girl from a woman.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Bloom for Heaven’s Sake
I never cease to wonder at the ways of Mother Nature. Some of the most important lessons in life we can learn from Her. What reminded me of this is the bunch of flowers I have in my room. Flowers can make such a difference turning an otherwise drab or regular room into a bright, lively one. In recent times it has almost become a habit for me to have fresh flowers in my bedroom. Well, at the risk of contradicting myself, I do believe flowers are best left on the plant. It hurts me to pluck flowers. But at the same time, the effect they have on our mind is undeniable. Caught between these two thoughts, my friend helped me find the way out by gifting a lovely colourful bunch. It perked me up so much, that there has been no turning back since.
The various hues and shades, the freshness of the flowers freshen up my mind. In fact I recently chanced upon an article in the newspaper that said experiments have shown that the presence of flowers in the room lead to sweeter dreams. Now that’s worth trying don’t you think?
Flowers have an important lesson to teach...they bloom; irrespective of whether there’s anyone to appreciate them or not, they simply bloom. Have you ever noticed the beautiful, tiny little flowers of roadside weeds? I wonder how many people stop to notice and appreciate them. Who appreciates the flowers in the wild? Sometimes you see them growing out of a crevice in the wall, between the stones in the path where they could be trampled upon. But it doesn’t bother them. No matter where they are growing, they live by their nature and simply bloom.
Like them we should learn to bloom, whether or not we are appreciated, noticed or cared for. Simply bloom for we are endowed with such potential it is unfair to leave it dormant. Go ahead…simply bloom for heaven’s sake.
The various hues and shades, the freshness of the flowers freshen up my mind. In fact I recently chanced upon an article in the newspaper that said experiments have shown that the presence of flowers in the room lead to sweeter dreams. Now that’s worth trying don’t you think?
Flowers have an important lesson to teach...they bloom; irrespective of whether there’s anyone to appreciate them or not, they simply bloom. Have you ever noticed the beautiful, tiny little flowers of roadside weeds? I wonder how many people stop to notice and appreciate them. Who appreciates the flowers in the wild? Sometimes you see them growing out of a crevice in the wall, between the stones in the path where they could be trampled upon. But it doesn’t bother them. No matter where they are growing, they live by their nature and simply bloom.
Like them we should learn to bloom, whether or not we are appreciated, noticed or cared for. Simply bloom for we are endowed with such potential it is unfair to leave it dormant. Go ahead…simply bloom for heaven’s sake.
Friday, October 10, 2008
The Healing Effect of Cleaning
Accept it or not all of us have cobwebs in the mind. Some have thick ones, some have very fine, ‘hardly seen’ ones. Regrets, worries, hurts, confusions, dejections, broken relationships, anger, jealousies, failures, losses and so on add fine strands to the web making it stronger and more intricate.
Just as a room full of cobwebs is uninviting, detestable, confusing and unhealthy so is a mind full of cobwebs. Such a mind can never think straight, albeit it can never think at all! It can only be a mass of confused thoughts! Such a mind cannot take decisions.
So what’s the solution? Well, like the way we clean the cobwebs in a room we need to take a brush and clean up our mind. But sadly that’s not possible. But there’s another way out…read on.
You might be surprised, you might think I’ve lost my marbles, but this is true: cleaning and tidying your room/desk/drawer/wardrobe etc. somehow clears up the mind too. I have experienced the healing effects of cleaning time and again. If I’m tensed and worried or plain upset I pick up the dust cloth and broom and clean away to get a neater room and a calmer mind. I don’t know the science behind it but probably the act of tidying and discarding of unwanted objects, clearing of the dust symbolically represents clearing up the cobwebs of the mind and we end up feeling better.
So the next time you feel down and out, don’t cry, don’t fret, don’t loll in bed, simply pick up the broom and sweep the cobwebs away!
Just as a room full of cobwebs is uninviting, detestable, confusing and unhealthy so is a mind full of cobwebs. Such a mind can never think straight, albeit it can never think at all! It can only be a mass of confused thoughts! Such a mind cannot take decisions.
So what’s the solution? Well, like the way we clean the cobwebs in a room we need to take a brush and clean up our mind. But sadly that’s not possible. But there’s another way out…read on.
You might be surprised, you might think I’ve lost my marbles, but this is true: cleaning and tidying your room/desk/drawer/wardrobe etc. somehow clears up the mind too. I have experienced the healing effects of cleaning time and again. If I’m tensed and worried or plain upset I pick up the dust cloth and broom and clean away to get a neater room and a calmer mind. I don’t know the science behind it but probably the act of tidying and discarding of unwanted objects, clearing of the dust symbolically represents clearing up the cobwebs of the mind and we end up feeling better.
So the next time you feel down and out, don’t cry, don’t fret, don’t loll in bed, simply pick up the broom and sweep the cobwebs away!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Free to Live
Born freeeee….
As free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart.
…go the lyrics of a popular song; one of my favourites in fact. Nice to sing, nice to listen to, nice to dance to (well, I love to dance to it…with gay abundance!) In fact the words are worth a thought.
We are born free, in a free country. But how free are we? Are we free to live? Are we free to follow our heart? Have you ever wondered?
I do believe we are born free, but somewhere down the line as we grow up, the shackles come on. What are these shackles? Who puts them on? Why do we allow them?
Fear is the fetter on our freedom. Fear stops us from being free. This fear could be ingrained in us from childhood. Not for want of love but out of love. Our parents suffer from their own fears and that prompts them to unwittingly pass on the fears to us. Fear of our safety, fear of loosing us. This in turn puts fear in our hearts and we grow up fearful. Some are less fearful than others but fearful all the same. Fear of society, fear of being maligned, fear of being ostracised, fear of being isolated, fear of being alone, fear of letting down, fear of letting go, fear of taking on responsibility, fear of taking decisions…and so on.
The fact is we are as free as we want to be. If we want to be free nobody can stop us. There is only one entity in this whole world who can stop us from being free and that is our own self. No one but you yourself is responsible for the way your life shapes up.
Drop the fear and you are free; free to live!!
(PS: In case you haven’t heard the Born Free song, you must. Here are the lyrics…
Born free, as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows,
Born free to follow your heart.
Live free and beauty surrounds you, the world still astounds you,
Each time you look at the stars.
Stay free where no walls divide you, you're free as the roaring tide,
So there's no need to hide.Born free and life is worth living, but only worth livng,
Cause you're born free.)
As free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart.
…go the lyrics of a popular song; one of my favourites in fact. Nice to sing, nice to listen to, nice to dance to (well, I love to dance to it…with gay abundance!) In fact the words are worth a thought.
We are born free, in a free country. But how free are we? Are we free to live? Are we free to follow our heart? Have you ever wondered?
I do believe we are born free, but somewhere down the line as we grow up, the shackles come on. What are these shackles? Who puts them on? Why do we allow them?
Fear is the fetter on our freedom. Fear stops us from being free. This fear could be ingrained in us from childhood. Not for want of love but out of love. Our parents suffer from their own fears and that prompts them to unwittingly pass on the fears to us. Fear of our safety, fear of loosing us. This in turn puts fear in our hearts and we grow up fearful. Some are less fearful than others but fearful all the same. Fear of society, fear of being maligned, fear of being ostracised, fear of being isolated, fear of being alone, fear of letting down, fear of letting go, fear of taking on responsibility, fear of taking decisions…and so on.
The fact is we are as free as we want to be. If we want to be free nobody can stop us. There is only one entity in this whole world who can stop us from being free and that is our own self. No one but you yourself is responsible for the way your life shapes up.
Drop the fear and you are free; free to live!!
(PS: In case you haven’t heard the Born Free song, you must. Here are the lyrics…
Born free, as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows,
Born free to follow your heart.
Live free and beauty surrounds you, the world still astounds you,
Each time you look at the stars.
Stay free where no walls divide you, you're free as the roaring tide,
So there's no need to hide.Born free and life is worth living, but only worth livng,
Cause you're born free.)
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Of Promises & Letdowns
There is only one sure fire way of not being letdown and that is not to have any expectations. The moment you have an expectation you have opened the doors to hurt. But not to have any expectations seems humanly impossible. The next best thing would be to reduce the number of expectations.
The pain of letdown is one that I am familiar with, like just about everybody else. The pain of a let down pierces through the heart like a spear. It goes right through and through. Tears well up, the head feels light, the chest tightens…you’d almost think you’re getting a cardiac arrest. But no, it’s far worse than that. Sometimes the let down is followed by apologies galore, sometimes none whatsoever. At times the person doesn’t even realise he/she has let you down. And at times, they realise but couldn’t care less.
The letdown may be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious but the fact is that it hurts. Some wounds heal soon after, some fester for days, weeks, months, years. Sometimes we feel the wound has healed and carry on with life till just a casual remembrance brings back that familiar ache in the heart and you realise you’ve far from healed.
But why is it that we make promises that we can’t keep? Why can’t we be more realistic when we give assurances? Why promise the moon when we can’t deliver it? Promises are easy to make but extremely difficult to keep. We are all aware of this, yet we keep promising, assuring and swearing and breaking not just the promises but hearts as well in the bargain. The breaking of a heart doesn’t make a sound but it crushes into a zillion pieces. The heart bleeds, it aches, it hurts. Then follow the dismal attempts at repair and damage control. We apologise, we try to make up in other ways or worse still we make yet another promise of never to repeat the breaking of the promise. And then alls well…till history repeats.
But what if you are on the other side? What if you are the one who has letdown somebody? Even then the pain is still there, provided you really care about the person. You apologise, you try to make up for the lost deed, you are ready to do anything to erase the lapse. But alas! It isn’t that easy. In this case your tail is in that person’s hand. If only that person takes the incident objectively and forgives and forgets, only then you can relax. Otherwise….woe betide!
The pain of letdown is one that I am familiar with, like just about everybody else. The pain of a let down pierces through the heart like a spear. It goes right through and through. Tears well up, the head feels light, the chest tightens…you’d almost think you’re getting a cardiac arrest. But no, it’s far worse than that. Sometimes the let down is followed by apologies galore, sometimes none whatsoever. At times the person doesn’t even realise he/she has let you down. And at times, they realise but couldn’t care less.
The letdown may be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious but the fact is that it hurts. Some wounds heal soon after, some fester for days, weeks, months, years. Sometimes we feel the wound has healed and carry on with life till just a casual remembrance brings back that familiar ache in the heart and you realise you’ve far from healed.
But why is it that we make promises that we can’t keep? Why can’t we be more realistic when we give assurances? Why promise the moon when we can’t deliver it? Promises are easy to make but extremely difficult to keep. We are all aware of this, yet we keep promising, assuring and swearing and breaking not just the promises but hearts as well in the bargain. The breaking of a heart doesn’t make a sound but it crushes into a zillion pieces. The heart bleeds, it aches, it hurts. Then follow the dismal attempts at repair and damage control. We apologise, we try to make up in other ways or worse still we make yet another promise of never to repeat the breaking of the promise. And then alls well…till history repeats.
But what if you are on the other side? What if you are the one who has letdown somebody? Even then the pain is still there, provided you really care about the person. You apologise, you try to make up for the lost deed, you are ready to do anything to erase the lapse. But alas! It isn’t that easy. In this case your tail is in that person’s hand. If only that person takes the incident objectively and forgives and forgets, only then you can relax. Otherwise….woe betide!
Made in Heaven, Suffered on Earth
I often wonder who could have come up with the institution of marriage. Various reasons are stated for the need of this institution but I’m left wondering if it’s all worth it. Do we really need marriage? What is this thing called ‘sanctity of marriage’? What about ‘live in relationships’? Are they any different from marriage barring the fact that the couple hasn’t gone through the rituals and the legal procedures?
You reach the final year of college and the proverbial question pops up at every given opportunity… ‘so when are you giving us good news?’ Gender no bar, question bar bar! Try as I might I have failed to understand in what way someone’s marriage will bring happiness to the society at large.
What is this deep urgency that people feel to get someone ‘settled’? is it jealousy that raises its ugly hood knowing someone is better off than you and prompts you to urge the single & fancy free person to get married? Or is it some sadistic streak that makes them prompt you to get married? Or is it plain concern for being left ‘alone’ in old age? How the hell do you substantiate giving up of 40 good years for the sake of old age!
I know most of you will think I’m a life time member of the anti-marriage bureau. But I’m not. Marriage has it plus points too. I agree. But, it’s an individual choice. The grass isn’t green on either side. Being single has its own problems and plus points and same goes for marriage. Which is why I repeat…it’s a personal choice. Why can’t the singles be just left to be single? And one’s who are married…well...be happy being married. That’s your choice.
You reach the final year of college and the proverbial question pops up at every given opportunity… ‘so when are you giving us good news?’ Gender no bar, question bar bar! Try as I might I have failed to understand in what way someone’s marriage will bring happiness to the society at large.
What is this deep urgency that people feel to get someone ‘settled’? is it jealousy that raises its ugly hood knowing someone is better off than you and prompts you to urge the single & fancy free person to get married? Or is it some sadistic streak that makes them prompt you to get married? Or is it plain concern for being left ‘alone’ in old age? How the hell do you substantiate giving up of 40 good years for the sake of old age!
I know most of you will think I’m a life time member of the anti-marriage bureau. But I’m not. Marriage has it plus points too. I agree. But, it’s an individual choice. The grass isn’t green on either side. Being single has its own problems and plus points and same goes for marriage. Which is why I repeat…it’s a personal choice. Why can’t the singles be just left to be single? And one’s who are married…well...be happy being married. That’s your choice.
Everyone needs a friend
Everyone needs a friend. Anyone who says he/she doesn’t is lying. I for one can vouch for the important role that friends play in one’s life. I have had friends as far back as I can remember. In fact there are two with whom I have literally grown up with. We were born around the same time and lived across the road from each other. Over the years we didn’t meet as often but whenever we did meet we continued from where we left. This I find most amazing.
Then I had my holiday friends. They came to stay at their granny’s place which happened to be in my neighbourhood. We met only during vacations and of course picked up from where we left at the beginning of each vacation.
Then there were the school friends. The three of us made a strong team and we stood by each other and enjoyed school life. This was followed by my higher secondary school friends. We had lots of fun together…and a li’l bit of studying too! And then came my college friends. A close knit group of seven, together we were fun, cute, mischievous, curious, sweet….& studious too!
My colleagues came next. Some are more than mere colleagues, we are friends, and very close at that. In between there came a special person, my teacher, my mentor who is also my friend. He gave a twist to my thinking, my perspective on life. And therein began my spiritual life. After that came a lot of friends who walk the same path as I.
But this blog is not about any of those friends. This blog is about my closest friend…my buddy. My buddy’s entry into my life was most inconspicuous. Really nothing to write home about. We met, we said hi, we acted pricy, we left. Period. Later we met again, we said hi, we argued, we picked at each other and left. And that’s when our friendship began.
Everyone needs a friend
Everyone needs a friend
Someone to stand by you
Someone who loves you
Someone who accepts you
With all your craziness.
Everyone needs a friend
Someone who encourages you
Someone who cherishes you
Someone who helps you
Without hesitation.
Everyone needs a friend
Someone who corrects you
Someone who reprimands you
Someone who stops you
When you’re on the your wrong track.
Everyone needs a friend
Someone who wipes your tears
Someone who share yours joys
Someone who cares for you
More than you can ever fathom.
I found in my buddy all this and more
Words fail me, I can write no more…
Then I had my holiday friends. They came to stay at their granny’s place which happened to be in my neighbourhood. We met only during vacations and of course picked up from where we left at the beginning of each vacation.
Then there were the school friends. The three of us made a strong team and we stood by each other and enjoyed school life. This was followed by my higher secondary school friends. We had lots of fun together…and a li’l bit of studying too! And then came my college friends. A close knit group of seven, together we were fun, cute, mischievous, curious, sweet….& studious too!
My colleagues came next. Some are more than mere colleagues, we are friends, and very close at that. In between there came a special person, my teacher, my mentor who is also my friend. He gave a twist to my thinking, my perspective on life. And therein began my spiritual life. After that came a lot of friends who walk the same path as I.
But this blog is not about any of those friends. This blog is about my closest friend…my buddy. My buddy’s entry into my life was most inconspicuous. Really nothing to write home about. We met, we said hi, we acted pricy, we left. Period. Later we met again, we said hi, we argued, we picked at each other and left. And that’s when our friendship began.
Everyone needs a friend
Everyone needs a friend
Someone to stand by you
Someone who loves you
Someone who accepts you
With all your craziness.
Everyone needs a friend
Someone who encourages you
Someone who cherishes you
Someone who helps you
Without hesitation.
Everyone needs a friend
Someone who corrects you
Someone who reprimands you
Someone who stops you
When you’re on the your wrong track.
Everyone needs a friend
Someone who wipes your tears
Someone who share yours joys
Someone who cares for you
More than you can ever fathom.
I found in my buddy all this and more
Words fail me, I can write no more…
Without Him
With all due respect to Feminists (well, I too qualify to be one, but not an extreme case. At least I hope I'm not. Only friends n fly would be able to confirm that) here's a poem on what it is to be without Him. Yes, you can also say Her, or even It for that matter; for now lets go beyond the grammar & punctuation and focus on the essence of the poem.
Who is 'Him' you ask? Well, you are free to relate to the 'Him' in way you like. It can be God, father, mother, friend, lover, brother, sister..... the choice is yours!
Without Him
The night without its stars
The morning without the sun
The brook without its gurgle
Like the snow in the sun.
The bird without its chirp
The flower without its scent
The grass without its colour
Like a spider without its web.
The guitar without its strings
The drum without its beat
The flute without its music
Like the trumpet without a peep.
The air without the wind
The thunder without its roar
The dog without its tail
Like a fish out of water.
Like a canvas without paint
Like a monsoon without the rains
Like a tree without roots
Like a dry leaf in the sun.
Who is 'Him' you ask? Well, you are free to relate to the 'Him' in way you like. It can be God, father, mother, friend, lover, brother, sister..... the choice is yours!
Without Him
The night without its stars
The morning without the sun
The brook without its gurgle
Like the snow in the sun.
The bird without its chirp
The flower without its scent
The grass without its colour
Like a spider without its web.
The guitar without its strings
The drum without its beat
The flute without its music
Like the trumpet without a peep.
The air without the wind
The thunder without its roar
The dog without its tail
Like a fish out of water.
Like a canvas without paint
Like a monsoon without the rains
Like a tree without roots
Like a dry leaf in the sun.
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