To Live or Not to Live

Come birthdays and wishes for a long life are showered upon you. And if that’s not enough, the ‘you’ll live a hundred years’ when you appear just when people are thinking or talking about you go on throughout the year. Come to think of it, is a long life really a blessing? There are two points which come to my mind.

To begin with, I would any day choose a good life over a long life. Whatever number of years I live, may those be happy and industrious. I’d choose a short but good life, over a long mediocre one. My spiritual teacher M once said, ‘If at the end of your life you have just four people vouching that their life has been better because of you, then your life is fulfilled.’ I don’t know if I have four people who would vouch for me at this moment, but I sure do make a conscious attempt at it in my everyday living. When the moment of departure does arrive, I hope I can say that life has been worth it.

Secondly, at the alarming rate that environmental destruction and climatic changes are occurring I dread to think of a long, long life. This year I experienced the most unbearable of all summers! My body just couldn’t handle it. I’m sure many would agree with me. During my recent trip to Uttarkashi I didn’t get a chance to even take the light sweater out of my suitcase. It was alarming! Just five years back when I visited Uttarkashi in the month of May the weather was such that we were all wearing light woollens. And now, just five years down the line, it was late September and blazing hot! If this is how it is now, what do we have in store for us? The environmentalists are prophesying lack of water, unbearably high temperatures with their resulting illnesses, unhealthy changes in the weather and what not…a deadly future indeed! And you want me to live long? No way!

Bless me do, but for a healthy, happy and fruitful life. The longevity I can surely do without.

Of Chivalry and Men and Women in the 21st Century

Struggling to remain standing in the bus taking us to the aircraft, I noticed all the seats were occupied by young men, while the young, the not so young and the certainly not young women stood swaying precariously. Just as I felt my indignation rising, a thought came to my mind - In today's world of women's lib/equality is it right to expect men to be chivalrous? 

Hmm . . . The next time I'll stick to looking out of the wide, greasy windows and enjoying the boring view.

An Ode to the Wise Ones on the Roads

DISCLAIMER: THIS WRITING IS PURELY A PIECE OF NON-FICTION. ANY SIMILARITY WITH FICTITIOUS EVENTS OR CHARACTERS IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO PERSONS LIVING, DEAD OR UNDEAD, SHOULD BE PLAINLY APPARENT TO THEM AND THOSE WHO KNOW THEM. DUE TO ITS CONTENT, ANYONE ALLERGIC TO SARCASM AND TRUTH MAY READ IT AT THEIR OWN RISK.

The world is full of different types of people – some fast, some slow, some tall, some fat, some smart, some dumb…. and then there are the Wise Ones. A unique category of people that sweep you off your feet, sometimes quite literally. I often wonder – are they born that way or have they worked hard on acquiring that wisdom? They are definitely not a minority, nor a rare variety; we encounter them often, maybe even on an everyday basis, sometimes at a distance that is too close for comfort. So who are these Wise Ones and where do we find them? Step onto the road outside your house and bang! You’d have met them before you can bat an eyelid. Overawed by their wisdom I am inspired to pen down...eh...type out a few words – mind you, they’re straight from the heart. Here goes…

Driving at a constant speed on the highway, keeping to your lane and then showing the signal before changing a lane...so daft! I mean, which fool does that? The Wise Ones know exactly how to drive…jump from one lane to the other, no wasting time on showing signals. What fun!

Overtaking from the left? Ah! Now that’s who I call a Wise One. After all, the person in the vehicle in front must be alert on all sides - front, back, right and left. And what if the road isn’t clear?  Well, the Wise ones know how to use the horn effectively accompanied by blinking headlights to clear the road of fools stuck to their lanes. Who, tell me who overtakes from the right when the road is clear? Only the dumbest!

And then there is another species of fools who queue up in a boring line during a traffic jam. But, no, no, no! Not the Wise Ones. They know very well how to go off the road on the left, overtake on the right and hit the nail straight on the head – bang! They aren’t foolish enough to keep waiting till the jam clears and the traffic starts moving. No dearie, that’s for the fools.

Oh yes, how I can forget the Wise Ones on two wheelers. Now, do they know how to manoeuvre a bike! Don’t you envy them? I sure do. Have you ever watched how they are able to squeeze through the littlest space between vehicles, be it a breakdown or a jam or a ghastly accident? And I just don’t understand why they are asked to stay back and queue up with the rest. After all, it’s a bike, its small enough to squeeze through. Yeah ok, they might slow down the process of clearing up a wee bit, but then atleast they are able to get out of the jam in a jiffy aren’t they? Too bad the others are stuck on four wheelers.

An accident scene is another very good place to spot the Wise Ones. You see, they are so concerned they are unable to move. In fact, I think it’s their vehicle that refuses to budge and they are forced to stop and watch. Well, what’s there to help? The others are already doing that aren’t they? It’s just that the Wise Ones’ hearts go out to the victims and hence they cannot help but stop in the middle of the road and observe…in silent support to the accident victims. Now, if that isn’t Wise, than what is?

The parking situation in our cities is going from bad to worse. You would think everyone gets affected by it, right? No, you are wrong. It’s only the fools who get worked up and keep going in circles looking for a parking space. The Wise Ones know just how to get around this little problem. (If not the Wise Ones than who?) If it’s a short while then surely parking behind a car is no big issue? After all, they’d be back in a jiffy. And surely the person can wait a tad till the Wise One is back. And come on, the roads however narrow are wide enough to allow other vehicles to pass by even with a vehicle parked on one or both sides of the road. Anyway, it’s only for a short while. Time is money; instead of wasting it on finding a good spot, they can utilise it to get their work done in a tick. How Wise!

I’ve learned that Wise Ones are privy to snippets of vital information. For instance, they are well aware that gates to homes and offices are hardly ever used. Therefore, the best place to park your vehicle is right in front of a gate. If it does happen to be one of those rare moments when the gate is being used – surely the owner can wait a bit? The Wise One will obviously be back in an instant. A Wise One once alerted me – ‘Never, ever fall for those tacky ‘Do not park in front of this gate’ signs. They are simply advertising gimmicks of banks.’ Now aren’t the Wise Ones simply amazing?

A road is a road, and whether you use it in one direction or the other, it costs the same to build. After all that trouble of building one, does it make sense to use it only in one direction? I mean, who are these daft people who come up with ‘One way’ roads anyway? A herculean waste of the tax payers’ money!  But the Wise Ones know exactly how to get around this problem – simply use the road both ways. Yeah alright sometimes the road is to narrow for two way traffic or the one’s following the rule  are taken by surprise – but then what’s life without a little excitement eh?

Why this ode to the Wise Ones you say? Ah! I owe them a lot. To begin with I’ve gotten closer to God. As soon as a Wise One appears I automatically start praying. My parents are relieved, they longer have to urge me to pray and I don’t have to wait till I get to a temple. I pray where I am – in the middle of the road, before crossing a road, when I am driving, when I am a passenger in a vehicle - thus, God is almost always in my thoughts while I’m on the road.

Besides, the Wise Ones have helped cut down my doctors’ bills to almost nothing. I no longer suffer from low BP. The mere sight of a Wise One gets my blood gushing and my heart thumping. The last I met my cardiac specialist, after noting the vibrant status of my heart he was all praise for the Wise Ones and the yeoman service they are providing to society. (God bless the Wise Ones!)

And the best part? I no longer visit amusement parks (and in turn save lots of money). No, not because of my age. It’s because a drive on our Goan roads provides more thrill than all the thrill rides at the best amusement parks put together!! I’m sure most of you would agree (well, at least the ones who are still alive and in one piece). And to whom do I owe these free thrills? But of course, to the Wise Ones on the roads! May their tribe decrease! Amen.