Going Deep & Flying High

The highlight of the concrete jungle that is the buildings in our colony, is a huge almond tree, nearly the height of our five storey building. Home to many a creature, from squirrels to exquisite birds, the tree is a wealth of lilting music in the wee hours of the morning when its feathered residents cheerily herald a new day. That certainly beats the harsh beep of the finest alarm clock! While filtering life-giving sunlight into my patio, the foliage of the large green leaves shelter my bedroom from the scorching heat of the midday sun. The robust, lush green tree is my refuge, my quiet friend whenever I feel defeated by life.

During stormy monsoon weather, the tree sways menacingly, its leaves rustling and hustling, sending a shiver down my spine. Heavens forbid, if it falls, it will land straight on our building! In spite of the shadow of fear lurking, I love to watch the sight – the howling wind winding its way between the branches, tickling and shaking every leaf and fruit. It is as though the tree and the wind are deeply engrossed in an intelligent conversation on weighty topics of universal importance. I listen in, losing myself in the hushed sounds. Thoughts cease and time stands still. Effortless meditation is what is experienced.

One fine morning I woke up to the sound of hacking and falling of branches. Looking out of the window, my heart ached and I shed silent tears, for the once lustrous tree now stood bare, fruitless, leafless, stripped off its beauty.

My morning ritual of watching the tree and its various residents had ended. I just didn’t have the heart to open the windows in the mornings, because the sight of the sad, barren tree was heart wrenching... no chirping birds, no screeching squirrels…just solemn silence.

When I returned from vacation a week later, I dreaded looking out of the window at the thought of finding a miserable looking, barren tree trunk. But I was in for a pleasant surprise. Tiny green shoots were sprouting from a number of spots on the tree trunk. The splashes of bright green of the new tender leaves promised a new start, a new life.

I watched in wonder, smiling at the hope it signalled. Though it was stripped bare, denuded off every leaf and branch, it had come around and started afresh – because it was firmly, deeply rooted. Had its roots not gone deep, it would have given way and probably withered to death.

While it gave me renewed hope that I too could start afresh, it reminded me of the necessity of being rooted in one’s core values. That alone would help me withstand the crazy, unexpected storms of life and get back to my feet every time life served a hard blow. No wonder the Beatles sang, ‘The deeper you go, the higher you fly.’

To Live or Not to Live

Come birthdays and wishes for a long life are showered upon you. And if that’s not enough, the ‘you’ll live a hundred years’ when you appear just when people are thinking or talking about you go on throughout the year. Come to think of it, is a long life really a blessing? There are two points which come to my mind.

To begin with, I would any day choose a good life over a long life. Whatever number of years I live, may those be happy and industrious. I’d choose a short but good life, over a long mediocre one. My spiritual teacher M once said, ‘If at the end of your life you have just four people vouching that their life has been better because of you, then your life is fulfilled.’ I don’t know if I have four people who would vouch for me at this moment, but I sure do make a conscious attempt at it in my everyday living. When the moment of departure does arrive, I hope I can say that life has been worth it.

Secondly, at the alarming rate that environmental destruction and climatic changes are occurring I dread to think of a long, long life. This year I experienced the most unbearable of all summers! My body just couldn’t handle it. I’m sure many would agree with me. During my recent trip to Uttarkashi I didn’t get a chance to even take the light sweater out of my suitcase. It was alarming! Just five years back when I visited Uttarkashi in the month of May the weather was such that we were all wearing light woollens. And now, just five years down the line, it was late September and blazing hot! If this is how it is now, what do we have in store for us? The environmentalists are prophesying lack of water, unbearably high temperatures with their resulting illnesses, unhealthy changes in the weather and what not…a deadly future indeed! And you want me to live long? No way!

Bless me do, but for a healthy, happy and fruitful life. The longevity I can surely do without.

A Long Life: To Live or Not to Live

Come birthdays and wishes for a long life are showered upon you. And if that’s not enough, the ‘you’ll live a hundred years’ when you appear just when people are thinking or talking about you go on throughout the year. Come to think of it, is a long life really a blessing? There are two points which come to my mind.

To begin with, I would any day choose a good life over a long life. Whatever number of years I live, may those be happy and industrious. I’d choose a short but good life, over a long mediocre one. My spiritual teacher M once said, ‘If at the end of your life you have just four people vouching that their life has been better because of you, then your life is fulfilled.’ I don’t know if I have four people who would vouch for me at this moment, but I sure do make a conscious attempt at it in my everyday living. When the moment of departure does arrive, I hope I can say that life has been worth it.

Secondly, at the alarming rate that environmental destruction and climatic changes are occurring I dread to think of a long, long life. This year I experienced the most unbearable of all summers! My body just couldn’t handle it. I’m sure many would agree with me. During my recent trip to Uttarkashi I didn’t get a chance to even take the light sweater out of my suitcase. It was alarming! Just five years back when I visited Uttarkashi in the month of May the weather was such that we were all wearing light woollens. And now, just five years down the line, it was late September and blazing hot! If this is how it is now, what do we have in store for us? The environmentalists are prophesying lack of water, unbearably high temperatures with their resulting illnesses, unhealthy changes in the weather and what not…a deadly future indeed! And you want me to live long? No way!

Bless me do, but for a healthy, happy and fruitful life. The longevity I can surely do without.

The Terrifying Guest

Life is unpredictable. You never know what will happen next. In our foolish ignorance we plan far ahead and leave umpteen things for ‘one day’, little realising that ‘one day’ might never happen.

In the span of a few weeks I have directly or indirectly faced the loss of near and dear ones. Shock and disbelief are felt first, only to be replaced by pity, despair and intense sorrow. If we are able to remain firmly rooted in Vedanta then death does not cause unending sorrow. We face life and death far better.

After all what is death? The Bhagwad Gita puts it very simply as ‘casting off of worn out garments by the Self’ (II:22), that is, the Jeeva (akin to soul) or the Self drops the body which has lost its significance and accepts a new one.

Lord Krishna mentions some important points in the same chapter, which if understood and internalised would forever destroy the fear of death. The Lord extols us to understand:

- That which is born must die. What has had a beginning has to have an end. It's simple logic.

- The Self is unborn hence it does not die. The person does not cease to be when the body is destroyed. It only moves on to a different plane. Only the body is destroyed.

- The body for the Jeeva is just like clothes are for us. As we discard worn out clothes, so does the jeeva discard the used body.

- The Jeeva is eternal, it was, it is and it will always be. There is no beginning and no end.
All beings are unmanifest in the beginning, then they manifest and once again go back to unmanifest. Thus, there is no cause for lamentation. It is a continuous cycle of change.

- It is incorrect to think that the Self dies - only Matter perishes. For the body - birth and death are inevitable; it is born to die again. The cycle of life and death continues.

- The wise do not grieve for they understand the nature of the Self.


No doubt it is easier said than done. For, as humans we are governed by our emotions. It is only when the clouds of emotion break up and the intellect shines through that we are able to think and apply the knowledge that we have. With our intellect clouded by emotions all that we are assured of is acute sorrow and despair. But the wise one, keeping his emotions in check, is able to see in the light of his intellect and act wisely. No, this does not mean one becomes emotionless, nor does it mean suppression of emotions, but only that one can channelise the emotions and not let the emotions overwhelm us. It means the ability to bounce back sooner. You feel, but you don’t get drowned in your feelings.

Is it practically possible one would wonder. Yes it is. I have seen people rooted in Vedanta bouncing back with amazing alacrity after having faced a crushing tragedy. I repeat, they were not sans emotions, but their emotions did not overcome them; something like a lotus that is born out of the water yet remains untouched by it. Understanding death would lead us to the state of the great Sant Tukaram who proclaimed, ‘My death is dead’.

Bored to Death

Bored to death, but death evades me.
Wonder what lies behind life’s screen.
A reflection of life or something serene,
Beauty and pace replete with harmony,
Or a painful reminder of a life that has been?
Hide and seek it plays with me,
Never allowing me within its reach,
The time isn’t right, there’s more to see,
A life of happiness sprinkled with misery, generously.
Pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice,
Whatever you choose, it’s in your hands my boy.
Smile through the thorns or cry through the blooms,
The feeling in your heart is for you to choose.
Death your friend will wait patiently by,
Reaching out to you when the time has arrived.

- Rukma

The Death

Broken promises, shattered dreams
A heart crushed into a zillion pieces
No sound was heard, not even a clink,
All that was seen was a red stream.
Deep, dark, drops of red trickling down the chin
In the silence of the night, a heart wrenching scream.
The wounds were deep, the knife had come out clean
Made of sugar, it was sickening sweet.
No sutures worked, bandages in vain
The pain she said was excruciating.
Is there a cure, can she be mended again
Is it possible to feel whole again?
She slinked into the bed, pulled up her knees
Hugging herself she tried to sleep
There hung a silence, deathly and still
You could cut through the air, it was sad, ominous.
Minutes ticked, the white sheet turned red
The shadow of death was felt
Life slowly ebbed away, a look of peace returning on her face.
What life had failed to give her, she had found in death.

No more promises, to give or take
No more dreams, to paint or erase
No more people, near or far
No more longing for the one that she loved
No more pain, causing tears of red
No more life, just peaceful death.
She had finally reached the end of the end.

- Rukma