Nurturing Confident Children – Part 2

Below are a few behaviours, some of which are inter-connected and overlap. If your child displays any of these behaviours, it may be a warning sign for cosseting. Wake up and act before it’s too late.

1) Inability to take a decision. If the child always asks before taking even the simplest of decision, or looks around for approval from an adult before taking a decision, it may be a sign that things are always decided for him.

2) If the child feels lost in the absence of parents, in spite of being with familiar people and other family members, it’s probably because he has no clue of what to do with regard to anything. That may be because things are always done for him, and provided on a platter. 

3) If the child is fearful, it may be because the parents are overprotective and often, fearful themselves. Anxious parents lead to anxious children. 

4) Inability to take a joke. If the child withdraws into a shell or cries on being teased a little, it might be that the child lacks in self-confidence. We’re not talking of mean behaviour or bullying, just simple, harmless humour. 

5) If the child resists helping out or doing simple chores for others, it could be that the child has been spoiled, and has never shouldered any responsibility. 

6) If the child controls the parents, the child is certainly pampered. The threat of a tantrum in a public place, pretending to throw up when asked to finish his food, bargaining with the parent to do as told are a few examples. 

7) Fear of failure is another sign of cosseting. Such children have been sheltered from failures, as they have never been left to fend for themselves or sort out their problems. It’s always Daddy/Mummy who sorts things out for them, often even before something happens. 

8) The inability to share is again a sign of over-indulgence – always getting what they want, and more so, having it to themselves. While this may be more common in case of single children, it is not uncommon in children with siblings.

While it’s good to start at a young age, it’s never too late. If you find yourself in the sinking sands of over-parenting, bail yourself and your child out now!

‘Where parents do too much for their children, the children will not do much for themselves.’ — Elbert Hubbard