Made in Heaven, Suffered on Earth

I often wonder who could have come up with the institution of marriage. Various reasons are stated for the need of this institution but I’m left wondering if it’s all worth it. Do we really need marriage? What is this thing called ‘sanctity of marriage’? What about ‘live in relationships’? Are they any different from marriage barring the fact that the couple hasn’t gone through the rituals and the legal procedures?

You reach the final year of college and the proverbial question pops up at every given opportunity… ‘so when are you giving us good news?’ Gender no bar, question bar bar! Try as I might I have failed to understand in what way someone’s marriage will bring happiness to the society at large.

What is this deep urgency that people feel to get someone ‘settled’? is it jealousy that raises its ugly hood knowing someone is better off than you and prompts you to urge the single & fancy free person to get married? Or is it some sadistic streak that makes them prompt you to get married? Or is it plain concern for being left ‘alone’ in old age? How the hell do you substantiate giving up of 40 good years for the sake of old age!

I know most of you will think I’m a life time member of the anti-marriage bureau. But I’m not. Marriage has it plus points too. I agree. But, it’s an individual choice. The grass isn’t green on either side. Being single has its own problems and plus points and same goes for marriage. Which is why I repeat…it’s a personal choice. Why can’t the singles be just left to be single? And one’s who are married…well...be happy being married. That’s your choice.

A Lifetime Plan

People come into our life for a reason, a season or lifetime...says a popular email fwd. Come to think of it, it sure does make a lot of sense. How else would you explain the discontinuance of close friendships and the disappreaing of people we're close to, for no apparent reason. Like the mail says some people come into our lives for a reason and when that reason no longer exists they go away. Some people stay on for a season, a little longer while. Once that season is over, they're gone. And then there are those few who come into our life to last a lifetime. Their entry may be sudden and out of the blue, but they come and simply stay on. There is a reason that brings them into our life, but they continue to be a part of our life for a lifetime.

At every stage in life we experience this. People come, people go. Some people come and never go. They form an important part of our life and leave an indelible mark on every page of the book of our life. We cannot imagine life without them. We cannot see beyond them. Their absence is frightening and painful. Their company delightful. Ofcourse, there is also the other breed of lifetime people who add excitement to our life with the troubles they cause. My thanks to them too. Life would be boring without them.

But this blog was mainly for the people in my life who are on a lifetime plan. The one's who add colour to my life. The one's who make each day special. The one's who stand by me through the ups & downs of life.

Talking about reasons reminds me of one of my favourite poems called 'There is a reason', composed by Pujya Swami Chinmayanandaji or Gurudev as we lovingly call him. It goes like this...

There is a Reason

There is a Reason
For every pain that we must bear,
For every burden, every care
There is a Reason.

For every grief that crushes our heart
For every scalding tear we shed,
There is a Reason.

For every hurt, for every plight,
For every lonely, painful night,
There is a Reason.

Yet, if we trust God, as we all must,
It can all turn out to be for our good, as
He knows the Reason.

- Swami Chinmayananda

Kiss & make up

Mellow tiffs, cold wars, steamy fights, fiery arguments....form an uncanny part of any relationship. Be it parent & child, siblings, friends, colleagues, relatives, lovers or even enemies (yes! enemity too is a relationsip)...when two people are close there's bound to be some friction some time or the other. And there's nothing wrong in that. Its natural. It provides comic(if I may say so) relief. It adds spice to an otherwise sterotype relationship. And it keeps us on our toes. And it helps in honing our skill of apologising, appeasing, cajoling, convincing & making up. I think one of the best parts of a fight is the end of it...what is called 'kiss & make up'. Whether you kiss or hug or simply say sorry, getting back together with a smile is a different feeling. The saccharine sweetness mixed with the earlier bitterness and fiery anger gives a heady feeling. The sun is shining bright. The birds are singing again. The world is beautiful once more.